I have launched this crowdfunding campaign which goal is to raise funds for developing an iPhone App by myself. The app will be designed to support women with codependency problem who wants to escape relationships which is emotionally abusive.

 

All the features on the app will be designed based on my personal experience which worked for me. So I will be able to help other people who is in situations similar to mine.

 

The iPhone App will have functions such as coaching, affirmation, study kit for understanding the mechanism of how the relationship go unhealthy, and social networking service to share her feelings with others to know that she is not alone.

 

The part which makes it difficult to escape the emotionally abusive relationship is that the codependent person such as me cannot see it as an addiction. As we all know that to over come addiction is not easy.

In my case, I NEED to solve other people’s problems before mine, NEED to ease other people’s feelings before mine, and NEED to be needed. Emotional abuse works like carrot and stick to codependent person to reinforce to crave for troubles and problems. A peaceful calm loving atmosphere triggers the feeling of lack of excitement.

 

Fortunately, I realized that IT DOESN’T MAKE NO SENSE AT ALL. That was the time when I started to study about emotionally abusive relationships. To get away from it, I had to learn how to prioritize myself first. An affirmation app helped me to do so. Coaching technique stopped me from sending text messages to ex when I feel needed to be needed. Learning psychology helped me understand myself. Understanding myself gave me a perspective to become more assertive. I have read a lot of blogs written by women who are in similar situation. Reading their stories made me upset about abusive behaviors that they were getting from their partner. That made me realized that I don’t have to feel guilty about what ever I was blamed on.

 

There are over 100,000 people asked for help on domestic violence from their spouse including verbal abuses in Japan in 2014 (survey by cabinet office). Japan cabinet office also said that there are one out of 5 married women get abuses (physically, verbally, and emotionally). According to that survey, 45.8% of them wanted to get divorced but they couldn’t, 44.9% of them didn’t tell anyone about it. The judicial statistics in 2015 shows that 28% of the reason of divorces were emotional abuses.

These numbers are the tip of an iceberg. I believe there are more women suffers under abusive relationships in Japan because we are raised to be obedient and humble. I was one of them and I was thinking that being assertive is not a good behavior for a woman even I am not really a typical Japanese woman.

I was interviewed by a local news paper and the article was released on 27th of June. Here is the link to the article on the local news paper (Japanese only).

 

However, I don’t want to blame on my ex about what have happened between us. As I mention above, I have codependency issues. I am working on it to over come this problem by attending workshops, taking psychology classes in college.

 

Sorry for my sloppy English and thank you for reading until the end.

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